Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
