Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
