I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
