Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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