This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
