i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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