Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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