Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
