I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize