You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
