Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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