Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
