I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
