I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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