They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
