He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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