is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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