my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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