Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
