What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
