I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
