You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
