I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
