i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
