Pregnant stripper...not hot.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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