Nicole vs. Life
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
