An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
