i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
