fuck your aforementioned shoe
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
