I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
