I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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