I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
