based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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