sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
