I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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