shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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