I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
