so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
