Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm really busy with my period
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