But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize