dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
