I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize