i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
