Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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