Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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