Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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