WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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