I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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