wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
