Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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