the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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