I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
