all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
