Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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