Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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