i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
