Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
