I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
