How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's just like the Real World with babies
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
