come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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